She sat between Harry and me. They hadn’t been broken up for long, and I knew she still liked him. Even though Harry had ended it with her, I couldn’t blame him for moving on. I had turned him down so many times. I was now seventeen, in our final year of sixth form. I felt no older, no wiser, and no closer to letting go of that fear holding me back from a committed relationship.

Chatter filled the theatre as more people found their plush red velvet seats. The intricate gold mouldings enveloped us while the chandelier overhead sparkled like a constellation. It was one of the most exciting school trips I’d been on. And not just because Harry was there.

As the house lights dimmed, a hush fell over the audience. She settled between us, but the spark that ignited whenever Harry and I locked eyes remained as strong as ever. Suddenly, the orchestra erupted with a powerful surge of music, drawing us all into the shadowy world of The Phantom of the Opera.

It wasn’t fair to lead him on, and I knew that. But I couldn’t stop how I felt. Neither could he. Even though this was a school trip, it felt like something out of an opera.

*

Tears fell down my cheeks.

Water splashed onto my phone screen as I texted Harry:

HAD THE WORST FIGHT WITH MEG. CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAID.

WHERE R U?

THE FIELD.

COMING.

He jumped over the stile and ran towards me, his legs like wheels, his cheeks flaming red. He threw his arms around me and held me tight.

‘How were you so quick?’ I asked, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

‘I ran fast,’ he said, interweaving his fingers through mine as we sat in the grass, the sun lowering, casting a golden glow on each blade.

I was taken aback. ‘You ran across the entire town to get to me?’

He nodded, totally out of breath. ‘Anything for you.’

I cried some more.

*

A week later, my family and I visited my grandma in Brighton for the weekend. One evening, as we strolled along the promenade, my parents deep in conversation and my three brothers busy mucking around, I hung back, clinging to the paint-flaked rail. It was a clear night, and the stars shone brightly over the wide-awake black sea. As I counted them one by one, I was struck by the wonder of our universe, by the wonder of our Creator—the one Harry didn’t believe in. During the two years we had known each other, that wonder between us hadn’t faded. I didn’t want to be the one to dim it.

In one clear moment, my fear was stripped away. More than anything, I wanted to hold Harry’s hand and get to know him better while we were on this journey together. All my worries crashed into a simple desire: to be with him.

And come what may, the stars would still shine in all their glory.

*

Snowflakes fell all around us. The vast landscape was quilted in white powder, the sky as black as coal, and from those hills, the city of Birmingham shone in neon.

‘So…’ I started, breaking the silence that had hung between Harry and me during our fifteen-minute journey there. The fact that my dad had driven us, with my three brothers wedged among us in our seven-seater car, didn’t help the lack of conversation. But I figured from all the times Harry had chased me and I’d run away, words often got lost in translation when it came to us getting together.

But not tonight. Tonight, it was my turn to chase him.

My brothers hollered as they ran off with their sledges down the steep hills, joined by my dad, who had strapped a camcorder to his head and was flying down with them.

Harry laughed, then cleared his throat when he noticed me watching him. His cheeks and nose were red from the biting cold, and his scarf was thin. I smiled, staring at our feet that ploughed forward one footprint at a time in the crunchy quilt. As friends, we could flirt, laugh, and feel comfortable in each other’s arms. As anything else, I closed right down, leaving him with rejection. So, there was a lot of ice to break.

I took a deep breath, ready to kung fu through that ice. ‘Will you go out with me?’ my voice came out mousy and small, not like I’d rehearsed at home all confident and sexy.

He stopped in his tracks, his sea-blue eyes locking onto mine. ‘Yes,’ he said, sounding surprised. He interlaced his icy fingers with mine, and together, we continued treading through the snow.

My dad and brothers were soaring, tumbling, and guffawing while we stood at the top of the hill, shivering in silence. My face was numb, my heart wildly beating.

‘It’s freezing,’ I finally said.

‘I can’t feel my feet,’ he replied.

We looked at each other and laughed, but the laughter didn’t last long. I moved closer, so close I could feel Harry’s breath against my skin and see the snowflakes clinging to his hair. Our lips touched, and we kissed like it was our last kiss. Except if it were our last, it would’ve been terribly sad because it was an awful kiss. But as we pulled away, despite the teenage slob-fest with mouths so numb it felt like we’d just been to the dentist, our eyes shone as bright as the stars.

My dad wolf-whistled and Harry turned bright red.

*

A few months passed, and Harry grew more curious about the Creator I believed had made the stars. He questioned me and challenged me, visited church with me, devoured curries at a Christian course while drinking in the teachings, and finally found a bible in his hotel room on a school trip that illuminated everything. He saw a bigger purpose to his life; his eyes were opened to the hand-stitched stars in the tapestry of God’s creation. And that ultimate difference between us became the ultimate bond that united us. Not everyone understood; some laughed, saying he did it all in the name of love. But once that path was lit, he chose to follow it, regardless of whether we stayed together.

*

Drinks clinked – soft drinks, of course – nibbles were nibbled, and dances were danced. Toward the end of our prom (to which I agreed to go with Harry this time around), slideshows of awards were presented to everyone in the upper sixth form.

‘The Romeo and Juliet award goes to…’

Harry and I focused on a couple who were very ‘in’ with the popular kids who organised the event.

‘Lexi and Harry!’

Our faces fell.

‘What?’ I laughed in bemusement.

‘Go, go!’ We were ushered up.

Both puzzled, we held hands as we stumbled to the front to claim our prize. Which was a paper certificate, a round of applause, and the occasional wolf-whistle from Harry’s friends.

‘Took you long enough!’ a voice shouted from the crowd.

*

We met at fifteen and started dating at seventeen.

Eighteen marked the beginning of our long-distance relationship as we started travelling between cities to see each other. I flew off to university in Bath while Harry stayed behind to figure out his next steps.

Then, on Christmas Day, when all was bright and merry, he popped the question: ‘Lex, will you marry me?’

I could hardly recognise that scared girl who once hid behind the vending machine in the high school cafeteria, wanting no part of a committed relationship. Every day with Harry had been exciting and eye-opening. He made me laugh like no one else. He made me brave like no one else. And he made me blush like no one else.

‘Yes,’ I shrieked as he slid the nine-carat diamond ring onto my finger, the one he had been saving for months to buy while working in a factory.

Being eighteen, not everyone thought it was our best idea, and some wouldn’t for a while. It had been quite a journey to get to where we were – even if we were considered too young – but it was our journey, and we were sure of it.

*

As my dad, smiling before all our gathered family and friends, walked me down the aisle, I held my breath as Harry turned and locked eyes with me. There he was, a twenty-year-old man in a suit, his smile as contagious as when we first met, his boyish cheeks pink from nerves. No doubt he’d been running around, seating my larger-than-average family while his smaller-than-average family occupied a quarter of the pews. The crystals on my white satin dress sparkled under the sunlight gleaming through the stained-glass windows, and the string quartet played with as much grace as Harry had once shown on the grand piano in high school.

As we stood before God and promised to love one another until death do us part, our young eyes met, full of hope that those same eyes would be looking back in years to come, surrounded by many more lines, reflecting the true, long journey we’d been on together.