• Family

    The Ugliest Christmas Jumper

    It was the ugliest one I’d seen by far. Elf-green wool with HOHOHO in white bordering the arms and torso, and…I am not even kidding…tiny ball balls sewn onto the fabric in the shape of a Christmas tree. She had made it herself. Gran had made it especially for me. She didn’t hate me either. She liked me. She thought this would make the best present ever. I mean…there’s a Specsavers advert right there! But I loved Gran. I couldn’t have not worn it on Christmas Day. Except, I had also planned to meet Jon’s parents for the first time that afternoon. Yes, the first time ever. Ever. And of course, I wasn’t going to…

  • Family

    A Spot of Afternoon Tea

    It’s going to be okay. Just breathe. Keep drinking your tea. You will be okay. They are only your in-laws. They are not wild dogs. Yes. I’ll be fine. The house is a little warm, though. Musty, maybe. I’ll open the window and let some fresh air in. The sunlight streams through onto the dining table, which is set for three. Miriam, the snob. Derek, the leery. And me. I don’t know why Harry even set this up. He had a last-minute paint job in the village apparently. Yeah, right. He’s always hoped we’d all get on better. He poked his head into the bedroom while I was still getting…